The story really started about a year ago. Facing 40, at the onset of my mid-life crisis, I decided to start running seriously. After training, I managed to complete 2 Half Marathons, but in that process, I also managed to hurt my left ankle cartilage. The doctor found my big left toe to have the same cartilage problem (although, he suspects that that is caused by my heel wearing). Whatever the case is, about two weeks ago, I had my Anthroscopic Ankle surgery and my big left toe was also cut up. Today I am still using crutches, as ordered by the doctor.
What has it been like to be on crutches? I must say that this experience has been most enlightening. Using crutches makes me think of things which I could have previously thought of, but often mentally brushed off as just casual observations. In the company of My Temporary Crutches, I cannot say it was as easy to ignore them.
Logistics. Lets just start with escalators. Do you know how scary escalators are, especially fast escalators? Until two weeks ago I did not know that they are such scary things for people on crutches or people who cannot react fast? I was so surprised at my own reaction when I approached one. With 2 crutches, it is difficult to remember which leg to put your weight on, while transferring your crutch, and then catching the hand rail while hopping onto a moving escalator. It was actually terrifying. Very few things actually scare me in life, but I was actually scared. Before this, I could not even understand why people stood on escalators when they were going too slow. Why not walk up?
As a result of that fear, I started looking out for Handicap Access like Lifts and Ramps. They are necessary. I am glad our public buildings have to put them in by regulation. The costs maybe disproportionate to the actual number of people using them, but the facilities are very necessary. When you cannot actually make it up a flight of stairs or even moving stairs, the you feel immense gratitude when you find any of these aids available.
Service Do you know why you pay 10% for service in a restaurant in Singapore? Because they come to you to take your order and bring your food to you. Do you know why you don't pay that in a food court? Because you do not receive service there. I never quite thought of it this way before My Temporary Crutches. I walked into a foodcourt and suddenly realized that I could not manage a tray and my crutches. I am glad I found a quick service restaurant next to the foodcourt and because it was very quiet, the staff came from behind the counter to bring me my food.
Attention. It is amazing the amount of attention you receive when you are walking around with Aid. People are so curious. Almost at the first chance, you find yourself being asked what had happened and after the first day, you would have worked out a short paragraph to summarize the entire situation. Absolute strangers, shop attendants, waitresses and even the cleaners passing you want to know what has happened.
As I have not met anyone who had asked me why I am with My Temporary Crutches out of anything but kindness and curiosity, I did not really mind all the attention, except that I am really glad my crutches are temporary. It must be difficult for people who are permanently and visibly handicapped in some way to deal with so much attention.
Kindness. As I mention kindness, it brings me to my next observation. As a nation we have been talking about kindness. Everybody thinks that Singaporeans are not caring and can be unkind. I have come across my fair share of unkindness, but these past two weeks have shown me a different side of the society I live in.
The people who live in Singapore are actually very kind - local Singaporeans and foreigners alike. I have had people literally running ahead of me just so that they can hold heavy doors open for me in shopping centres, strangers who offer to help even though they don't know how they could help. When I ask for directions, in order not to have me take a wrong turn and walk more than I need to, they walk with me to make sure that I found the actual exit. While I was doing supermarketing with my mother, shoppers did not realize that there was an able bodied person with me, I was asked if I needed help to reach things or take things whenever I stopped at a shelf.
All these random acts of kindness reminded me of another act I witnessed a few years ago in a shopping centre. A little boy ran, tripped, fell and somehow hurt himself badly enough to bleed all over the floor. His mother was with him and was so traumatized by the blood that she just sat there holding him and crying herself. The strangers who were around immediately sprung into action. The Malay and Indian receptionists, jumped up from behind their desks, one rushed to the Ladies to take out a wad of paper hand towels, while the other came forward to help. Another Chinese lady, fell to her knees and rummaged through her own bag for tissues and anything to help with the bleeding. I rushed downstairs to the pharmacy to buy some disinfectant sprays and bandages. Within 15 minutes, the shaken mother and son recovered enough to thank us all profusely, I think she really could not believe that complete strangers helped so quickly. Personally, I was so amazed by how an accident like this really brought out the spirit of our national pledge, it made me really proud to be a Singaporean.
When I related all these acts of kindness which are so spontaneous in nature to my husband, I thought he summarized it very well by saying, "I have never thought Singapore to be unkind, we may be a society always in a hurry, but we are not unkind."
Empathy. Last but not least, I would like to talk about Empathy. I believe Empathy is something really difficult to feel if a person has never been in the exact position before. I have always thought I am good at putting myself in someone else's shoes, now I really believe that to truly understand a situation that alone is not good enough. One literally has to walk a mile in another's shoes before they can truly empathize.
In short, we should not pretend that we can even find solutions that will fit everyone. Given that special needs will always be an issue the concerns certain groups of people, we should set up channels for such people to express their concerns and needs. They in turn should not expect the society at large to anticipate their concerns and needs, they must understand that should vocalize their concerns and achieve a decent standard of living for themselves.
The society at large is made up of different interests groups. Each interest group should not expect everybody else to change themselves so that the Norm will be a "fit all" solution. All of us have our concerns - be it physical access for the handicaps, or kids who cannot do well enough in school. The solutions are surely not to grant access to every single buiding, but to make as many as friendly as possible, or to pull back the standards of education so that the slower ones do not feel bad.
Practically, general public solutions cannot be tailor-made. As long as the needs of most can be taken care of by the "Exceptions to the Rules", then the Rules themselves will be better accepted. I believe Singaporeans are practical enough to live with Compromise.
I have another four weeks with My Temporary Crutches. They have slowed me down tremendously, but I do believe all that has previously been passing me by in a blur previously, has clearer outlines now.
